can we please just take a moment to close our eyes and imagine how insanely hilarious and refreshing a public debate between tony stark and romney would be
On gay marriage:
“No, you don’t understand, Mittens, of course I recognize gay marriage and complete equal benefits for my employees; I trust them with the best technology and equipment and explosives in the country. As long as they don’t blow up my facilities, I’ll do whatever’s necessary to keep them happy and healthy. Explosives, Mittens.”
On reproductive rights:
“Just for a second, close your eyes, and imagine that the Black Widow is your co-worker. And also lives two floors down from you, so she knows where you sleep. She once incapacitated me- for my own health, of course, but that’s irrelevant- she can do any job a man can do, better, without breaking a sweat, and she learned ‘enhanced interrogation’ from the KGB. Do you want to tell her what she can or cannot do with her own body? I thought not. Okay, moving on.”
“Who remembers that stock crash when I first came out as Iron Man and said I wasn’t making weapons anymore?” *uncomfortable snickers from audience*
“No, go ahead, laugh. Everyone thought I was crazy. Pepper thought I was crazy, and I owe her a pony for putting up with me all these years. Oh, shoot, national TV, now I have to give her one, don’t I? Anyway, they thought I was crazy, because I was shutting down the biggest branch of SI, where most of our manufacturing and research went. Investors didn’t have hope. But you know what? We took those brilliant people, got some fresh ideas, remodeled some factories, and not one employee got laid off that year. Because if you people work hard, and work together, and you work in a fair environment where every crazy, brilliant idea has a chance to flourish, then you can take half a company and grow it to bigger than it was before.
And that’s what we need to do with jobs in this country. These unemployment statistics? Suck. So let me give you some numbers about how I plan to fix that, so we can get this country working again. Here’s the plan: and then he goes and gives statistics, and Romney makes a fish face, because Pepper Gave Him Notecards And He Actually Followed Them. Well, for this part of the speech.
I am Iron Man, in case you don’t watch the news. Also, we have a Hulk. Just putting that out there. Considering the events of the last few years, I think other countries will think twice about pissing off President Stark.
On green energy: Stark is pretty much still the only name in green energy, and all our new facilities are LEED Gold certified. We’re still working on upgrades to some of the oldest buildings, but they’re well on their way. You know how hard it is to get building permits in California? So yeah, I support the efforts we make in this country to live more sustainably. Because I love this country, and I’d like to save it for the long run. It’s kind of what I do. Because it’s awfully hard to Avenge against pollution.
And in case they get into a dick size contest over who loves America more…
“I’m in a monogamous relationship with freedom”
i’m crY I CAN NO LONGER HANDLE THIS WORLD
omg help me I’ve fallen down laughing and crying and can’t find the will to get up
Okay, everyone go home. Tony Stark and this post just won the Internet.
#Tony would win #then get really tired of the job #and he’d just make Pepper run the country for him
Occasional artist, Enjoy your stay
i wish more people said that being single is normal
and you’re not going to meet and marry someone
and that’s fine
and if marriage happens, it happens. and it’s not the next big ticket to check off in life’s checklist
because not everyone meets someone they want to marry. and that’s normal
you’re not broken or unfulfilled if you are single
my social studies teacher once told us “human beings are the most selfish of all. even when someone dies, you shed tears only because they are no more around to provide you with whatever they had been for so long”
and it has been 3 years since she said this and this is still what i think about at night
grandma got ran over by a reindeer
bitch had it comin tho
this is the BEST side pairing out of the entire show. we look back on Mickey and feel bad for him because the Doctor swept Rose off her feet and into time and space, leaving him in the dust. we look back on Martha and feel a bit sad because the Doctor broke her heart and proud that she moved on like the bamf! she is.
but we never knew if they ended up happy until this scene. they’re getting shot at and they’re teasing each other and they’re just so in love with each other
Mickey might not have been Rose’s Doctor, but Rose was never his Martha. Martha couldn’t be Rose, but the Doctor couldn’t be Mickey either.
they’re perfect for each other and they are so great together. ten bucks says Jack had something to do with hooking them up.
its been a while since I’ve done anything with tutorials ahhh also my explanations started to die out because I don’t have a lot to say to describe each one. If this helps you, I’m glad. But I would say to just springboard from this! get loose with your poses and have fuuuuun
jokes about Dylan Sprouse’s nudes make me uncomfortable b/c women get their lives and careers ruined or tainted if something like this comes out but dylan gets commended for “handling it well”
Give me one actual example of a woman’s life getting ruined due to leaked nude photos. I’m waiting.
that took about 3 seconds to find on google
there was a monarch butterfly outside with a torn wing and i thought it was dead so i went to pick it up off the ground with a flower but it began to hurriedly clutch onto it trying to drink something. it was totally trembling; it had a gash on it’s body and i knew it was dying but i couldn’t bring myself to kill it, so i googled a monarch’s favourite food and it ended up being mandarins. he literally devoured as much as he could before dying and i buried him outside my window.
You’re a good person
but my most recent, i was at a party and i have this pair of jeans that makes it look like i constantly have a raging boner and when i was sitting next to my friend and i explained my ordeal and i was like “i feel like i have to hide a boner that i don’t even have, this sucks” and this really shy girl was like “OH it’s not real??”
and that was embarrassing enough
but them my friend was like “nahhh see?” and he grabbed at my fabric boner but then he ended up squeezing my balls for real and i screamed and he was laughing because he didn’t know that he was actually hurting me and then i yelled “LET GO OF MY BALLS” and LITERALLY everyone turned around to see my friend with his hand on my crotch and this traumatized girl sitting on the counter looking down at the scene
yOU ARE 300% MY fUCKIGNGH BEST FREAONDGDD
2014 hasnt even started and it looks like a promising year
Oh please dear gods let this be legit
GUYS ITS LEGIT HE SAID HE WANTS TO HAVE A FAMILY AND BE A NORMAL GUY ETC I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER